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Avoiding Settlement Blunders with CDP Part IV: Emotions

This is the final post in the series about Potential Settlement Pitfalls and how the Collaborative Divorce Process is structured to better address these.  (See Part I here and Parts II & III here)  We will talk about Pitfall 4: Letting Emotions Rule I think this is the most important issue in divorce and the […]

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Avoiding Settlement Pitfalls with CDP Parts II & III: Finances

Pitfall 2: Ignoring the Tax Implications & Pitfall 3: Not Gaining a Full Financial Picture For many couples, there is an imbalance of financial power and knowledge.  Many of my clients go into a panic mode when we first begin discussing assets, as they grasp how much knowledge they are missing in terms of what […]

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Avoiding Settlement Blunders with the Collaborative Divorce Process (CDP) Part I– Trial

I so often wish that the couples we work with in the Collaborative Divorce Process could see themselves in a parallel universe going through litigation so they could fully grasp the scope of what a huge difference CDP makes. An article written by CNBC writer Elizabeth MacBride entitled Avoid Divorce Settlement Blunders seeks to address […]

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Shame: Addressing a Primary Cause of the Misery Spiral

Last week, I wrote about the “misery spiral” and how easy it is for those going through a divorce to fall into it, primarily because of feelings of guilt and failure.  The more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be useful to delve deeper into this and examine the underlying common […]

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The Misery Spiral

I recently stumbled upon a tongue in cheek article by Cloe Madanes entitled The 14 Habits of Highly Miserable People (click here for link).  The author gives “strategies” for ensuring a life of self-sabotage and unhappiness.  Few life events rival divorce when it comes to being the impetus for falling into a misery spiral and […]

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Advice.

I was recently asked to give advice to soon-to-be graduates of the William and Mary Law School.  I shared with them the following, which forms the foundation for my practice and the principles of how I do business:  The advice I have for new attorneys is to consider the big picture and think holistically. How do you […]

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Children as Figures in the Shadows

Last week, I posted about the interests of third parties and how these can throw a wrench into negotiations and poorly effect outcomes for separating couples. The grey area when it comes to these “Figures in the Shadows” are the children of separating couples.  Though in Collaborative, we strive to put their interest’s front and center […]

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Figures in the Shadows: A Reflection on Third Party Interests in the Separation Process

A common topic which pops up throughout various mediation and negotiation trainings I have attended is how we as professionals are to screen and mitigate the influences of outside “shadow” figures who exert their influence over the decisions made by the parties directly in negotiation.  Often times in family law, those “shadow” figures are comprised […]

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Divorce Equality

I recently saw a Reuters article on DOMA and its implications on divorce.  The article echoed many of my own thoughts that came to mind when I was out in San Francisco observing the celebrations in the streets the night it was struck down.  Though the energy of the crowd was infectious, and I shared […]

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Reprogramming Ourselves: The Neurology of Maladaptive Behavior in Divorce

I recently attended an immersion course in California at UCLA put on by the Center for Resolution Advocacy.  The three day course left my head spinning as I listened to Ph.D. after Ph.D.  present the latest theories on neuroscience, emotion, human interactions, trauma, and many other resolution related topics.  One of the key takeaways for […]

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