"I really thought you did a nice and fair job trying to get my divorce through. "
"It takes a special person to be a good lawyer, a wise counsel, and a thoughtful friend ... Read More "
"Lori worked to resolve our problems, not stir the pot. "
"You helped me to remember that the children's well being should be our first priority ... Read More "
"Lori not only listened to me—she heard me. "
"You were truthful, kept me focused, and didn't just tell me what I wanted to hear. "
An Open Letter from a Recovering Attorney
When faced with the need for a lawyer, sadly, most people hire the first attorney they see or are referred to by friends or family, without understanding just how much impact this attorney will have on their life and future. Don’t make this mistake. As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else”.
If you are contemplating a divorce, chances are you are angry and/or hurt. You need to make emotional decisions, but you cannot make them emotionally, because choosing how you divorce and which attorney you hire are as important the decision to divorce itself.
After years of practice and a wealth of highly contentious litigated cases, I have found one thing to be true: families do not belong in court. The emotional and financial toll of litigation is inescapable—even when my clients walked away with everything they thought they wanted, the family never won in court. When fighting a battle within the framework of the court, things are often said and done which can never be forgotten.
During my life as a litigator, I used to read books about the strategy of winning and the art of war. It wasn’t until years later that I realized these strategies never did any good for the children of divorce or the health of the family. The adversarial approach made it impossible for the parties to find a working relationship as co-parents after the divorce was final. Families and even extended families were torn apart, causing a ripple effect for generations to come.
The outcomes for clients choosing from a variety of methods under the Appropriate Divorce Resolution (ADR) umbrella-such as mediation, arbitration, and collaborative practice- have been truly amazing. I have found that the key to a successful divorce process which preserves the family and the dignity of both parties and results in deep, long lasting resolutions is client education and informed choice. 90% of divorce attorneys immediately push clients toward litigation. With so many other options available, this lack of full disclosure is inexcusable.
My subsequent years of training as a Collaborative Process attorney and mediator advanced my skills and opened my eyes to the importance of empowering my clients to resolve their disputes through a dignified and creative process while staying out of the courtroom and out of battle. I strongly encourage you to schedule a consultation with me to discuss the specific needs of your family and gain an education on all of the options available. I welcome you to our firm.
Lori D. Becker, J.D., M.B.A.